It always starts out with an intense feeling of sexual intimacy. Almost every attractive male that comes into view becomes a desirable object of surreal pleasure.
Time progresses, and loneliness sets in. Even more saturated my mind becomes, with the idea that I am alone. I purposely fill my ears with sad slow songs just so that I can interpret my ragged emotion.
I become hungry for anything that is distracting like a book, movie, or conversation. Typically if I decide to call someone in the midst of my "crisis" I tend to lead the conversation around until I finally spill my guts.
At this point I am almost always alone in my room and warm under my covers with my sad sad song on repeat.
This is the pattern.